“Different feels, whether it actually is this in truth, feels like less than.”

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Transcript for Not Sharing My Own Questions

I kind of stumbled upon Valpo by accident. Growing up in Connecticut most of my friends ended up going to school on the east coast and when I explained where I was going to school they looked at me like I had lost it. Because Indiana, the Midwest, anything West of the Hudson just seemed like a foreign land so I stopped talking about where I was going to college because it just raised to many questions. Before coming to campus I knew that this was a Lutheran campus and I didn’t know any Lutherans out in Connecticut. I thought boy I’m probably going to feel uncomfortable.

When I did finally arrive, you know that resulted that in me not sharing my own questions. I just kinda kept to myself for a good long while. I don’t really know if I can imagine, when I think back, a confrontation or a conversation. I think it was my own sense of wandering and seeking that made me cautious; different feels, whether it actually is this in truth feels like less than. One experience that I had in the classroom that at first was a challenge, but then I realized was actually a blessing, my different background actually served me well. It was Sophomore year, it was the first day of class, my professor was going through the introductory material and at the end of the class said, ‘Well I assume that all of you have some good, foundational, understanding of the four Gospels, so starting on Friday we are going to talk about Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.’ And I thought at the time, woah, I don’t have a solid, foundational background in the four Gospels. And, so, between Wednesday, which I think was the first day of class, and Friday I thought I’m gonna have to read Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John on my own because when I heard his comment, what I heard was Valpo students, Lutheran students, have this basic understanding. That’s how I heard his comment and I thought boy if I don’t at least say or know that I’ve read through it, now I’m gonna be revealed in the classroom as an outsider, as someone who doesn’t have the same background and the same perspective.

So that started out pretty rocky for me, but halfway through the semester I realized with class discussions and comments that the professor was making that my lack of strong, Christian heritage actually served me really well in the classroom because I was able to read the text without feeling challenged or threatened because I didn’t really have much of a background that could have been challenged by, you know, ideas that he was presenting in class as we were reading the Bible as text.